Jack and Declan Porter, Revenge Grounds for Firing: It’s understandable that the Porter boys would want to hang onto their dad’s Hamptons-located bar, The Stowaway. Nobody wants to be the one to let a family business go under. But let’s face it: they’ve done a terrible job running it so far, from bad hiring decisions to using it as a hiding place for ill-gotten gains. At this point, we wouldn’t trust these two to keep the bar’s roof from caving in, let alone serve us drinks. Hired As: Sailing instructors. Jack in particular prefers being out on the water anyway, so instead of trying to get rid of his boat, he should use it as his place of business. This is the Hamptons after all — there’s always a steady stream of preppy A-holes that need sailing tips.